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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23203249">An Unhealthy Obsession</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreatingOfArts/pseuds/CreatingOfArts'>CreatingOfArts</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Sex, Angst, DanPlan - Freeform, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Love Bites, Love Confessions, M/M, Murder, Nightmares, Obsession, Obsessive Behavior, Oral Sex, Possessive Behavior, Sexual Tension, Stalking, Yandere, actuallyoddplan - Freeform, im gay and bored lets gooo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 08:08:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,262</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23203249</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreatingOfArts/pseuds/CreatingOfArts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I am in love with Hosuh Lee.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jay Ko/Hosuh Lee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>57</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>An Unhealthy Obsession</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I am in love with Hosuh Lee.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The way he smiles, laughs, how his eyes light up when around me fills me with incredible emotion. How his beautiful, soft silver hair shines in the sun every day when I see him walk outside of his home. The genuine kindness he gives to others, no matter who they are. His calm yet smooth complexion, making me want to run my hands across his curves and features and hear all sorts of sounds out of him. Every single thing about Hosuh was perfect, and I have him all to myself. Well, I will anyway.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh, how I love Hosuh's naivete. He doesn't know what I do and that makes it all the more fun. The quick glances I get from him, how I see him following me around, the way his face flushes every single time I move--he doesn't think I notice it all. I would be insulted if I didn't love him so much. It hurts me so much to have him try to hide all of this from me, thinking I wouldn't find out. But it doesn't matter, even if he did show it all without shame it would all be the same. Either way, I know every single little detail about him, and I guess this way it's more fun. Though it would be nice for him to realize that I know he loves me and I feel the same, if not more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Such a shame Hosuh didn't love me until this year, things would have turned out better. He always ignored me, everything was always about Dan and Stephen. Whenever he did talk to me it would be 'Stephen this' and 'Dan that', it was driving me insane. I couldn't handle it anymore, I needed to be acknowledged. So when Dan went on a small trip with his family, I killed Stephen. A poor loss of a good friend, though I don't regret it a bit. Without Dan to be there for Hosuh, my angel had no choice but to come to me. Ah, how he weeped in my arms. I remember how my cold, empty body felt warmth. Through the blur of my fake tears, I knew it was all worth it for him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I closed my eyes as a cold breeze of midnight winter air struck my face, giving me small goosebumps. I don't mind, I'd be in the comfort of a warm house soon. I look up at the one story building I was standing before, holding my side bag close. I smirk as I walk up to the familiar window of Hosuh's room, opening it slowly to avoid causing a sound. Hosuh should really start locking his windows. I step into the comforting, insulated room trying to balance my weight to not fall or move too loudly. I shut the window behind me as carefully as possible in order for Hosuh not to wake up from the cold. His skin is incredibly sensitive to temperature and I'd rather not give myself away at this moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I walk around the room, slowly opening up Hosuh's drawers. I take a few pieces of clothing and stuff them in my bag. While I was about to pull my hand out, my finger touched a small piece of paper inside. I grab it and take it out, smirking. It was a picture of me smiling at the camera, with the other people who were in that picture cut out of frame. I grazed my finger across it, landing it on a small stain on the picture. I brought the photo up to my nose, trying to catch a scent of it. I grinned, it was recent.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I slide the paper back in its place, closing the drawer. I listen to the beautiful silence of the comforting room, until I hear a strange noise. I quickly turn to find out what it was, seeing Hosuh in a strange position on his bed. His legs were spread out wide, arms awkwardly by his side gripping the bed sheets. I look down to see the blanket he used had fallen off the bed, and I crouch down to pick it up until I hear it again. I glance up, immediately blushing. Hosuh's mouth is open, a small line of drool falling across his cheek. My eyes studied his body, which landed on Hosuh's shorts. They looked tight, his bulge showing clear as day. I silently chuckled, he was most likely having a wet dream. I ran my tongue across his cheek, tasting the saliva that he had left. As I did, Hosuh let out a small moan which made my heart flutter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I leaned away from the bed--while I wouldn't mind doing so much more with Hosuh, I know my limits. Despite my boundaries, I come back in and lay my hand on Hosuh's soft cheek. With my other hand I drag his hair away from his face, slowly running my fingers through the beautiful locks. With each small touch of my hands, Hosuh hums, wanting more. Resisting every urge in my body, I am able to keep myself under control while hearing the beautiful melodies of my angel.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I moved my hand to give Hosuh a small peck while continuing to stroke his hair. I whispered quietly, "I'm sorry baby, I know you're longing to be touched but I can't risk waking you up. I don't want you to be freaked out, I can't have you tell anyone I'm here, even if you don't intend to."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosuh replies with another hum, rubbing his face on my hand before settling his jaw on it. I smiled from his adorableness, shutting my eyes and embracing it all. The glorious little noises he made were like a sweet lullaby, beckoning me to fall into a deep sleep. I followed the siren's song, as the world around began to disappear. Before I knew it, I was unconscious next to a bed where Hosuh lay a magnificent mess.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>___________________________________</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Of course, me being me, I won."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I laughed, "Of course you did, the guy that sucks at video games won a match"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Oh suck a dick Jay," Stephen replied, crossing his arms, "I bet I could kick your ass in any game."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Nah," I said, leaning back in my chair, "I don't like playing with children."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"You piece of shi-"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Kidding! Stop being so sensitive you big baby." I chuckled, trying to hold down the pent-up anger that lurked inside of me.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Stephen groaned, "Well, what do you want to do now? It's getting kind of dark."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Let's cook something!" I suggested, keeping my fake smile up, "I haven't eaten all day so it wouldn't be a bad idea."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He shrugged, "Eh, sure. I don't care."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>We both stood up and made our way to the kitchen, which was weirdly clean. Stephen started getting out a few supplies as I leaned on the counter, slowly pulling a knife out of the block and hiding it behind me. Stephen started to stand back up, "Alright, any idea what you want to m-"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Suddenly, I lunged at Stephen, pushing him to the ground. He was confused for a second, until he saw the knife in my hand. I raised my hand up to stab, Stephen catching the knife. The blade cut through his hand, blood dripping on his torso. He winced in pain as I tried to use more force, cutting deeper into his palm.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He looked into my eyes and shouted, "Jay, what the hell are you doing?!"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I didn't reply, all I did was try to use more strength to stab him. I take my other hand, which was previously on Stephen's neck, and use it to over power the other male. Finally, the knife slipped from Stephen's hand, and I got a direct hit on the throat. He tries to scream, but he only coughs up blood. His eyes, filled with genuine fear, were shaking as if he was trying to remain conscious.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I rose my knife up again, this time stabbing right in the chest. At this point, I wasn't paying attention to Stephen anymore. I just kept stabbing over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Until my arms wouldn't move, hoping I would feel some sort of joy out of the murder of a good friend.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>___________________________________</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I quietly groaned as my head ached, every muscle in my body felt incredibly sore. I look around the dimly lit room, recognising it as not my own. It took me a second to realize I was in Hosuh's room, knelt beside his bed. I looked down at the sleeping angel before me, much calmer than earlier. It seems as if the dream during the night has ended, now sleeping peacefully. The smile on my lips falls once I realize I'm</span>
  <em>
    <span> still in Hosuh's room.</span>
  </em>
  <span> I removed my hands, which were on Hosuh's face, and stood up. I was about to escape through the window until I heard a groan from Hosuh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck he's going to wake up</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Panicked, I slid under Hosuh's bed and quieted my breathing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I heard rustling in the sheets above, and another groan. Hosuh's pale feet rest on the ground as he sits up on the bed, most likely stretching out his arms. It is followed by a sigh, and the bed makes another creak. Hosuh stands up and walks to the dresser, and now I can see his whole body. His hair is messy, yet somehow still looks incredibly soft. He slouches as he stands, probably exhausted even after getting sleep. But what stands out to me the most are the stains on Hosuh's shorts, them still looking a bit wet. My mouth waters, oh what I'd give to slip them off and claim Hosuh as my own. I want to run my hands across every inch of his body, wondering what sort of beautiful noises he would make while conscious. I'd grind against his bones until our marrows mixed, carve into our bodies so our blood become one. So many things I would love to try, if only Hosuh would promise to be mine forever and never let go. That time is soon, though.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The drawer closed and Hosuh left to the bathroom with a new set of clothing in his hands. Once the bathroom door shut I released the rest of the air in my lungs, only being able to take small shallow breaths before. I waited under the bed until I heard the sound of the shower running, not wanting to get caught if Hosuh were to forget something. I slipped out from under the bed, grabbing my bag. Thank God Hosuh didn't notice it on the floor or I'd be in trouble.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I opened the window, wind already blowing furiously at me. But before I exited, I looked back at the room and smirked. "Oh angel, I can't wait to destroy you in the most beautiful way possible."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And with that, I climbed out making sure to close the window behind me before I ran off. As I was running back to my own house, I suddenly stopped in my tracks remembering something. How could I forget, I've been looking forward to it for months! It had always been delayed with Hosuh being too nervous and changing his mind, but he is sticking to it today. He had been having conversations with himself, so unsure on what to do. But finally, he gathered up the courage and told himself that the first day in March he would do it no matter what. My eyes lightened up and I smiled brightly, Hosuh is going to finally be mine. I once again begin running to my house knowing full well this will be the best day of my life.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>___________________________________</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"It was you, wasn't it?"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I looked up and tilted my head, "I don't know what you mean by that, Dan."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Daniel's fist clenched, raising his voice "It was you, you killed him!"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I stand silent for a brief moment, a smirk being brought to my face. I chuckled, "Oh Dan, what ever could you be talking about? You know I would </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>neve</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>r hurt someone like that, that'd be immoral."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Stop playing games sociopath," He slammed his fist on the table, "I don't find this funny. Why the hell did you do it? You two were the best of friends!"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"You should be grateful," I calmly replied, "if your family didn't leave town that week, you would have been my target. A shame to see poor Stephen go, I really did care about him. But when opportunity comes to you, you have to take it even if it's not your favorite option."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"That doesn't answer my fucking question, why did you want either of us </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>dead?!</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I looked at Dan directly in the eyes, dropping the smirk. "</span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>Because he never stopped talking about both of you.</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He stepped back ,"What does that mean, who?"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"It should be obvious," I took a step closer, "I mean, who is the only other person you guys hang out with."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Daniel widened his eyes and shouted, "</span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>DON'T YOU DARE LAY A FINGER ON HOSUH OR I-</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Or what? You'll kill me?" I grinned, moving closer, "If you think my intention is to hurt Hosuh you're dumber than you look."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I looked around the room, "Oh, how he wouldn't </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>shut up</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> about how great you guys were. Do you even know how much it hurts to see the love of your life talk about two people you thought you would die for, only to slowly grow to hate them. Dan, I was going fuckin crazy. I couldn't take it anymore!"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"'Going crazy'?! You're fucking insane!" He yelled, shaking furiously. "And 'love of your life'?! Don't tell me you-"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"And why wouldn't I be in love with him? He's the most perfect human being on this earth, everything about him is just wonderful!"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Dan growls, tears staining his eyes " Hosuh will never, </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>NEVER</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> love a person like you! Once he finds out the truth, he's going to </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>despise</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> you."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Oh really?" I take another step closer, smile growing wider "</span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>Who's going to tell him?</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Dan tries to back away, but his back hits the wall behind him. He realized that he's cornered, "D-don't tell me you're-"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I interrupt Daniel with my loud laughter, I laugh so hard my chest hurts and my mouth tastes like blood. Once I finally calm it down I look up at the quaking green haired man, "Oh my god, don't tell me you're serious! You think you can accuse me of murder, insult me, scream at me, and then have the </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>audacity</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> to tell </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>me</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> the one I'm doing all this for will</span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em> never love me</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> and come out </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>alive</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>?! </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>Oh, I'm going to enjoy splattering your blood everywhere</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>___________________________________</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Scrolling through my phone, I look back at old posts from past social media not knowing what to do with my time. I begin to hum a simple, yet unfamiliar tune to break the slight silence in my room. I ran my fingers through my golden blonde hair, which was soft because it was recently brushed. I sigh and put my phone down on the bed I was sitting on, time sure does love to be slower when you're bored out of your mind. I bring my knees and legs up to my chest, hugging them with my arms as I rest my head on my shoulder. I close my mind to imagine how wonderful today will be, what scenarios could play out. How forward will Hosuh be? What does he have planned for us today? I begin to drift endlessly into my beautiful imagination, but being interrupted by a small ding from my phone. I pick it up and smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>11</span>
  <em>
    <span>:13 a.m.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Angel💙 : Hey Jay, how are you doing?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I smirked, typing back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>11:13 a.m.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You : I'm doing decently, I'm just bored cause I have nothing to do :⌄</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>11:14 a.m.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Angel💙 : Well, I'm not doing anything today either. You wanna hang out? Maybe go out to eat somewhere?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I felt my heart jump as I read the text, the thought of spending alone time with Hosuh was absolutely blissful. Hosuh and I don't get to spend time together as much as we'd like due to conflicting work schedules, and how Hosuh was so busy all the time. But it doesn't matter anymore, once he's all mine he will have time for me. If he doesn't, I'll make him. I can't simply let something like work get between us, or anything for that matter. Hosuh is my world, and I will be his.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>11:15 a.m.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You: Sure, I'm down. What's your plan?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>11:15 a.m.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Angel💙: I'll be at your house at around 9:35 to pick you up, is that ok?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>11:16 a.m.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You: Perfect. See you soon Hoho</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I slide the phone in my back pocket and stand up to finish getting ready. I grab my side bag from the night before and empty out it's contents, hiding them under the bed. Wouldn't want Hosuh to find out he wasn't just losing his clothing and other belongings, as he believed he did. Wonder what his reaction would be if he knew I was the one taking his stuff, but I know it would be an interesting one.  After the bag was fully vacant, I took my wallet, house keys, and the phone from my pocket and stuffed them inside. I slowly crouched down to open up the bottom drawer of my nightstand, smirking. I grasped the item inside and put it at the bottom of the bag below everything, let's hope it comes in handy later.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I hear the doorbell ring as I rise from the floor. Smiling, I causally head towards the door. Opening it, I am greeted by the beautiful man with silver hair.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>___________________________________</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Mixing the batter, I try my best not to mess up and get it all over the counter. It has happened before, and it wasn't the most fun cleaning it up. Once it is all evenly and smoothly mixed, I open the cabinets and grab a frying pan. I lay it on the stove top, about to pour a bit of oil in it until I hear an unexpected faint knocking on my door. I turn around, who could be here so early in the morning?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I open the door to see none other than Hosuh, his delicate and refined grace standing out from the early fog. I smile, but it quickly falls after seeing his expression. His eyes were red, looking down in despair. His body looked tense, shaking from the cold and being emotionally distraught. I widened my eyes, putting my hand on his shoulder in worry. "Hosuh, are you alright?"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He just looked away, tears coming to his eyes. I wrap my arm around his shoulders, pulling him inside. I close the door behind us, bringing Hosuh closer to me. I kneel down a bit until my eyes are locked with his. They were filled with fear, distress, and exhaustion. I leaned a small bit closer, "Hosuh, what happened? You look like you've been through hell."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Did you not hear?" He says in a soft mutter.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Hear what Hosie?"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Dan was found dead in his house last night"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The memories of the night before came rushing back, hitting me like a hard ocean wave. I tried to keep myself from smiling, remembering how much messier was with Dan than Stephen. Both of their murders were a true joy, even though they really were good friends of mine. Friends I've known most of my life, dead. By my hands. If Hosuh weren't here right now, I would break off into laughter. I forced myself to start shaking, fake tears stream down my face. It's all an act, all for him.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Hosuh stretches his arms around my torso, bringing me into a tight embrace. I do the same, resting my head on top of Hosuh's as I silently 'weep'. The hug made me feel incredible warmth in my body, it was so comforting. I take a deep breath through my nose in Hosuh's hair, rubbing my hands on his spine to ease his sorrows. Every single second of this was heaven to me, for once I knew what it was like to have him all to myself. I could stay here forever if I had the choice. But alas, it's impossible. We part from each other, while still standing close together. I turned my head towards the kitchen, then back at Hosuh. "Have you eaten yet?" He shakes his head.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"I could cook some pancakes for you," I say, putting my hand on his shoulder again, " it wouldn't be a bother, I made too much batter for myself anyway. Go have a seat, I'll tell you when they're finished."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Hosuh gives me a soft smile, once again hugging me. After the quick hug, he sat down on the couch while I returned to the stove. While cooking, I gave Hosuh occasional glances, each of them making me smile from the sight of him. God, he's so perfect. I love him in every way.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>___________________________________</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The car was peaceful, classic pop songs playing on the radio on a low volume so it isn't awkwardly silent. I lean back, my eyes glued to the man beside me. His eyes though are focused on the road, smiling to himself. With one hand on the wheel, his other is tapping on the console armrest. I looked away, my hands aching to wrap them around Hosuh's. To give him a small kiss, to tell him everything I have done for him, to tell him what I want to do with him--I want to do it all. These thoughts, these </span>
  <em>
    <span>urge</span>
  </em>
  <span>s, keep getting more and more difficult to contain. I don't want to hide all of this, I don't want to wait, I don't want to keep resisting. But it will all be worth it in the end, to make the moment entertaining and memorable.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So um," Hosuh begins, "what have you been doing recently?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Stalking you, thinking about you, watching you sleep</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I smirk, "Nothing much, just have been busy with work recently. You know how it is, always keeping you up late."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nervously chuckles, "Yeah, it's been difficult to get sleep recently. How do you know about that by the way?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Because I wait outside your window until you doze off into unconsciousness, so I can watch your chest slowly rise and fall</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I shrug, "I figured because you often text me at late times, I just assumed it was because of work. Mostly cause you do talk about your job a lot."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah," replied hosuh who sighed, "I should stop worrying about it so much. Let's not worry about it for now, I was hoping to just have a relaxing day with you."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Where are we heading by the way?" I questioned, watching the road pass by. I put my head against the glass of the window, looking at the passing scenery. "This isn't the way to your house, so I'm assuming we are going somewhere before chilling at home?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yup!" Hosuh exclaimed, laughing a little which made my heart skip a beat, "I thought it would be really fun if we went to the movies! I bought the tickets in advance."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Man, Hosuh how long have you had today planned out?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosuh blushed, glancing the other direction, "Would you be concerned if I said weeks?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I silently chuckled, "Not at all, really I was wondering when you'd finally ask to do something like this."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We both fall silent again, Hosuh flustered and me watching as his face changes to beautiful shades of pink. He knows that I'm staring, he knows that a few things I have said are lies. He knows so much more than he shows, but not enough to find out the reason. I wish he knew I wanted to hold his hand, kiss him, caress his tight body. That would've made things so much simpler, it really isn't complicated. I don't mind everything being complex, I'd just hoped it wouldn't take this long for everything to be settled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without a second thought, I grabbed Hosuh's hand that was on the armrest and gave it a small peck. Shocked, Hosuh froze up. His leg twitches, nearly slamming the breaks on the car. He bent his head down, trying to hide his face, which was getting redder by the second. His eyes are burned onto me, overflowing with unreadable emotion. I smirk, snapping my fingers in front of his face. "Eyes towards the road, Hoho. Wouldn't want to get in an accident on a day like this."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosuh snaps out of his trance, still heavily blushing. He once again focuses on driving, trying his best to pay no mind to me. I wonder if I could throw off the whole day schedule he had planned, fast forward it all. Should I let Hosuh go through the day the way he wanted it to go--a clique romance plot where we would go and do cheesy shit together and at the end of it all, he would confess--, or do it my way? Now I don't know about anyone else, but I've never really liked doing things the way they're supposed to.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The car pulls to a stop in a space in the movie theater parking lot, Hosuh turning it off.  He slides his keys in his pocket, widening his eyes. He checks his other pockets, throwing his head back. He groans, "I left the tickets at home."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I snicker a bit, "Wow Hosuh, you forgot the thing we needed most here."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Shut up!" Hosuh says in annoyance, punching my shoulder playfully while I continue laughing. He puts the keys back in the car and sighs, "It's fine, we'll just make a quick stop."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Quick wasn't the right word.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>___________________________________</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He's up at 2 am again.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I sit outside of his bright window, hearing the steps of Hosuh pacing around his room. He hasn't been able to sleep recently and it's concerning me, what has got him worked up like this? I know it isn't work, because if it was he would get right on it. No, something else is bothering him. Was it Dan and Stephen? Is he still not over their deaths? I mean, he hasn't thought about it for weeks from what I've seen. It's been months since the incident so I don't think he would be worried about it too much anymore.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The steps stop and I hear a thud on the ground. Worried, I glance through the window to see Hosuh on his knees, head held in his hands. His body shakes, eyes look like they're on the verge of tears. My heart burns, longing to hold Hosuh close and tell him it will all be ok. He closes his eyes, silently muttering "Oh my god, I'm in love with Jay."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Everything stops for a small second, the whole world not moving. I felt tears fall from my eyes, landing on my cheeks. I brought my head away from the window so I wouldn't stay there forever and get caught. I bought a hand to my mouth, struggling to contain my scream. I hugged my knees as I cried an endless waterfall, heat rising up to my face. Behind my hand lay a smile. One so genuine with emotion, not one word I could use to describe it.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>All my instincts told me to jump in the window and tell him how I feel. Tell him how much I love him, tell him how he means the world to me. Oh how I'd kneel down before him like he is a god, give my everything to him. Treat him like the king he's supposed to be. I want to hear it when he looks into my eyes, 'I love you Jay.' I want to hear it over and over again. I want him to give everything to me, and take everything I have. A relationship of giving and loving, till our eventual demise arrives. We'd be together, forever.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>But no,</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>not yet.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Time will come, but it hasn't arrived just yet.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>___________________________________</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Wait here," Hosuh says, stepping out of the car, "I'll be right back."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I smirk, watching Hosuh leave and enter his house. I wait till he shuts the front door to follow, making sure to grab my bag out of Hosuh's car before doing so. I open the door to see Hosuh digging through drawers, looking for the tickets. He's shaking, probably worried he won't spend time with me while watching the movie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Having trouble?" I say, startling Hosuh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stops and turns his head towards me for a second, then continues to search "I thought I told you to stay in the car."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Eh," I reply, shrugging my shoulders, "I got bored."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Really, after only being there for 20 seconds?" He teased, turning his body towards me.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"But what would I do without my Hosuh to entertain me?" I joked, making a pouty face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosuh giggles, "Oh, so I'm entertaining now?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I never said you weren't."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He smiles, continuing to look for the tickets. I frown, becoming inpatient. Grinning, walking closer to Hosuh. "So, tell me, why do you feel the need to take me somewhere in order to declare your love for me?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He falls dead silent, frozen in shock. His face quickly turns red, eyes widening. He begins to shake, "W-what do y-you mean?."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My heart flutters at the adorable stutter, heat rising in my body. I cup Hosuh's face in my hand, bringing it closer to mine, "You know Hosuh, you're so fucking cute. You shouldn't have to lie to me. Now, are you going to confess or do you want me to do it first?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn't reply, just stares back completely baffled. His mouth fumbles, but no words come out. My lips curl up, bringing Hosuh's face a little closer, "Do you know how much I fucking love you? What I'd do for you, what I have done for you? You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this, it's been years, Hosuh. Years of waiting, hoping, suffering for this moment. God, I love you so goddamn much I would die for you. I would do anything for you, and I hope it's the same for me. Tell me how much you want me, how you devoted your entire heart to me. I've heard you talk so much about how much you wanted to kiss me, make you feel complete. Oh, you panicked so much when you found feelings for me. '</span>
  <em>
    <span>What am I going to do?</span>
  </em>
  <span>' , '</span>
  <em>
    <span>Of</span>
  </em>
  <span> course he won't love me back'. You cried so much about it, now you don't have to anymore."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Flabbergasted, Hosuh stares in awe. Confusion fills his eyes, wondering how I know all of this. My thumb grades his lips, "Come on Hosuh, say it. I want to hear the words, this time right to my face. Please, be mine until the end of time. We could be together forever,  I won't even let death tear us apart. Agree to do nothing but love me, and I swear you will get the same in return."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without a second beat, Hosuh landed his hands on my shoulders, pulling me in. His lips force themselves against mine. They are incredibly soft, the close breath of Hosuh hitting against my skin. My hands drop down to his lower back, holding him closer. Everything felt so warm, so </span>
  <em>
    <span>righ</span>
  </em>
  <span>t. Everything is as it should be, and I could never be more grateful for it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosuh broke off, staring right into my eyes "I-i love you Jay. I don't know how you know all of this, but I don't care anymore. I wish for nothing more than to be yours, I-"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cutting him off, I bring him in once again for another kiss, slipping my tongue inside. Hosuh is surprised at first, then melts into it. The taste, the feeling, oh my god everything about this is absolutely flawless. I slam Hosuh into the wall, continuing to make out with him at greater intensity. The small moans that project out of Hosuh makes it all even warmer. God, I want more. I need it, I need </span>
  <em>
    <span>him. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Our mouths part, still connected by a line of our saliva. We pant, staring into each other. I bring my mouth down his neck, leaving a trail with my tongue.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Jay what are y-</span>
  <em>
    <span> AH!~</span>
  </em>
  <span>" I bite and suck his neck, causing Hosuh to yelp. He covers his mouth in surprise, looking away. I move his arm and continue leaving marks on him, hearing muffled yet beautiful noises as I do so. I start to bite in one spot, causing Hosuh to loudly moan and buck his hips up. I smirk, proceeding to sink my teeth deep in that place while licking the breaking skin. He loudly hums, grinding his hips into mine. I grab the hem of his shirt, beginning to lift it up. He gasps, but allows me to take it off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I pause, staring at his bare chest. Of course, I've seen him shirtless before but not up close like this. Not with this much control over him. Hosuh blushes madly and looks away, covering himself with his arms. I take his arms and pin them above his head, leaning in. With my free hand, I stroke his hair. "Hosuh, why are you hiding from me? You are perfect in every way, there's nothing to be insecure about," I whisper softly in his ear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Letting go, I begin to trail kisses down his chest. The soft, small mewls I hear out of Hosuh fill me with excitement. I stop when I reach the rim of his pants. I looked up at Hosuh, whose face was as red and beautiful as a rose. His eyes stare back at me gently with salacity, maybe a little bit of fear. Grinning, I scooped Hosuh up into my arms in a bridal style. Hosuh, surprised by this action, wraps his arms around my neck so he would not be dropped. I walk over to Hosuh's room, turning on the light. I set Hosuh gently on the bed, running my fingers through his hair.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh, Hosuh. You're gorgeous. I can't wait for you to scream louder than you did last night."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before letting Hosuh process what I said, I climbed over him, staring at the smaller male under me. His petite form lay still, waiting. I lean down to kiss Hosuh again, him gladly accepting. While my lips were against Hosuh's, my hands glided down to his jeans. I unbuttoned and unzipped them, stopping the kiss to pull them off his legs. I smile at the sight of his bare skin, so smooth and glossy. Carefully, I slip my thumbs inside his boxers, sliding them off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosuh softly moans, his dick hitting the cold air. My mouth waters as I stare at his long, hard member. I take my hand and slowly rub his inner thigh, "God Hosuh, you're adorable. Everything about you is enchanting, flawless. I'm going to make you feel as perfect as you are."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without another word, I force Hosuh's cock in my mouth. "</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ah~ m-mmm</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jay~" Hosuh moans loudly. I begin to bob my head, because holy shit it feels so fucking good. I pick up speed, listening to his loud whines of pleasure. I lick his member up and down, earning melodic squeals from the smaller male.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I shove my mouth down to his base, the tip hitting the back of my throat. The touch of it all makes me moan, and yet I only covet for even more. I can't get enough of this glorious heaven, for I have gotten greedy. I feel his dick twitch, Hosuh thrusting his hips up almost making me gag.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Hhhhh~</span>
  </em>
  <span> j-Jay, I- </span>
  <em>
    <span>AH~</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jay I'm gonna c- </span>
  <em>
    <span>haAAa!~</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosuh releases his thick load in my mouth, throwing his head back. I pull him out, trying to keep the semen from dripping. It tastes amazing, so sweet, yet savory at the same time. I close my mouth, swallowing Hosuh's cum. I pant, cupping his face in my hand, placing a small peck on his cheek. I began discarding my own clothing while Hosuh stares. I reached into my bag, pulling out the bottle of lube I packed earlier. Hosuh giggled, "So did you plan this all out before you left with me?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Somewhat, yes. Well how this day would end anyway," I responded, chuckling.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I sit on the bed beside Hosuh, rubbing the lube on my fingers. I smirk, shoving them inside him. He yelps in surprise, rubbing his thighs together. I pull his legs apart and climb in between them, softly dragging my hands across them. The way I delicately touch his thighs makes him lowly moan, I can tell he feels like he isn't getting enough.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Giving him a small kiss, I slide my dick inside Hosuh's ass. He squeals out, both in pain and pleasure. I loudly groan, he is so god damn tight. Once I was settled inside, I pulled back and thrust back in. He arches his back and rolls his hips, trying to get himself situated with it. God, it feels so good. My groans are almost as loud as Hosuh's as I pound into him again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Nnnnng</span>
  </em>
  <span>~ Jay it- </span>
  <em>
    <span>HhaaaAah</span>
  </em>
  <span>~ J-jay my s-stomach~" Hosuh whimpered, his fingernails clawing into my back. It begins to sting, he may have broken skin. I really should go easier on him, but I can't slow down now. I grab Hosuh's cock, swiftly stroking it. He screams from the unrelenting pleasure as I start to get close. I begin to pant, my thrusts getting sloppier.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Fuck H-hosuh," I groan, "Hosuh I- </span>
  <em>
    <span>hnnng~</span>
  </em>
  <span> I-i'm about to- </span>
  <em>
    <span>Agh~</span>
  </em>
  <span> I'm c-cumming~"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I slam into Hosuh once more, my seed spilling into him. My body relaxes as I pull out, falling on the bed next to Hosuh. We both pant, out of breath and exhausted. I turn my body towards Hosuh, wrapping my arms around him. He flinches at the touch, but sinks into the hug. I grab the blanket that fell off the bed and throw it over us. I close my eyes and slowly drift into unconsciousness. Everything is as it should be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>___________________________________</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He looks at me with fear and disgust.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Hosuh's fist clenched, raising his voice, "It was you, you killed them!"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I stand silent for a brief moment, confusion being brought to my face. I frowned, "Hosuh what are you talking about? How did you find ou-"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p><em><span>"Why the hell did you do it? </span></em><b><em> ̶</em></b><em><span>Y̶o̶u̶ ̶t̶w̶o̶  </span></em><b><em>We </em></b><em><span>were</span></em> <em><span>the best of friends!" he snapped.</span></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I feel water pouring down my cheeks, as I shook furiously "I'm sorry you had to find out this way, I wish I could've told you! I really do!  I'm so sorry, ple-"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p><em><span>"That doesn't answer my fucking question, why did you want </span></em><b><em> ̶</em></b><em><span>e̶i̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶u̶s̶   </span></em><b><em>them</em></b> <b><em>dead?!</em></b><em><span>"</span></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Hosuh please, you're the love of my life." I sobbed, "I had to do it, I was going crazy!!"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Going crazy? You're fucking insane!" He shouted, "And what do you mean 'love of your life'? Don't tell me you-"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Hosuh please, you have to hea-"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Did you not hear?" He says in a soft mutter.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Hosuh wh-?"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Dan was found dead in his house last night"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Wha- Hosuh, that was a long time ago-"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He looks into my eyes and shouted, "Jay, what the hell are you doing?!"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I didn't reply, all I did was try to use more strength to stab him. I take my other hand, which was previously o-- WAIT WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?! I'm moving but I can't control it. Tears stream from my face, </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>WHY CAN'T I FUCKING DO ANYTHING</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>?! Finally, the knife slipped from Hosuh's hand, and I get a direct hit on the throat. He tries to scream, but he only coughs up blood. I can't breathe, </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>oh my god I can't fucking breathe</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>. I want to help him, I NEED to help him. I HAVE TO STOP HE'S GOING TO DIE, </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>HOLY FUCKING SHIT THE ONLY PERSON I EVER LOVED IS GOING TO DIE!!!!</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> I rose my knife up again, this time stabbing right in the chest. I just kept stabbing over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again. I'm killing him, I'm killing him, I'm killing him, I'm killing him, I'm killing him.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>I killed him</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span> Blood is splattered everywhere, </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>Hosuh's blood.</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I can't see anything.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I can't hear anything.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Only the sound of my deafening scream.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I don't stop, my throat and eyes burn.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I can stop, but I don't want to.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Because it's the only thing I have control over anymore.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Anymore? Jay you were never the one in control.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>___________________________________</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b>"JAY, JESUS CHRIST WAKE UP!!!"</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My eyes snap open, floods of tears running down. I start madly coughing, my insides are fucking burning. Everything is blurred, I can't see anything from the tears. The light that was on was blinding, altering my vision even more. My whole body hurts, I feel so fucking sick. I don't know what the hell is going on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Jay! Are you alright, can you hear me?!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I blink the water in my eyes away, trying to focus my sight. I look up to see a bare chested man with long silver hair, looking like he's going to break out crying. I mumbled, "Ho- suh...."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hey, hey it's alright." Hosuh muttered, pulling me in a warm comforting hug, "It's ok, I'm here for you."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My head falls on his shoulder, arms wrapping around him. Oh my god, what if he finds out? What if he despises me? Dan was right, such a perfect angel would never fall for one who killed his friends. Why did I fucking kill them? What the hell was I thinking? Hosuh cared about them, and I murdered so he would weep on me. He's going to hate me, and nothing would've been worth it in the end. If he finds out, my everything is over.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I was terrified, I couldn't hear the sound of your breathing. You were crying." Hosuh croaked, holding me tighter, "I was going to check if you were ok, then you started screaming. You screamed so loud, I didn't know what to do. "</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The tension in my face loosens, "I'm ok marshmallow, I just had a bad dream."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Marshmallow?" Hosuh questioned, grinning.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What? It's cute." I say, brushing hair out of his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I don't know," he replies, "you never seemed like the type of guy to give out cheesy nicknames."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Eh, doesn't matter to me." I shrug, standing up. I grab my phone on the floor to check the time, 7:53 p.m. I smirk, looking back over at Hosuh. "Hey Hosuh, it's not too late. Wanna make dinner with me?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His eyes light up, springing up from the bed "Of course! There's a new recipe I've been wanting to try recently!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His excitement makes my heart warm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yeah, he's not gonna find out.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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